Tag Archives: Questions

What if?

Life is beautiful in every way. Only when we get to experience pain – we taste the euphoria of the few blissful moments. I have been a believer that everything is connected for a long time, however, getting to experience that firsthand in overwhelming – Gigantic.

Sometimes I wonder how do I still manage to value life. After all, I used to struggle with the idea of taking my life since I was a child… this life to be precise – and dive into a new world of possibilities, discoveries, and answers.  I always ask myself where does this strength come from?! Lately, I discovered it is faith. Not faith in an entity, religion or a human being. It is much bigger than this, I am not sure my human vocabulary can describe this but for now, I would say the universe.

I learned that our demons accompany us, you can never really defeat them but you can accept them, give into your past and let go. Accept what happened and what will happen in this journey called – life. Afterall, demons are nothing but voices from the past that once called for help, scared of the unknown, scared from every new page, scared that the new skin would be hewed over and over again.

I discovered that pain is not hard as joy when you survive in a world of distortion, it is very hard almost impossible to accept a new chapter of happiness, simplicity, and bliss. Be wary of fooling yourself, be wary of being too locked in pain that you miss the taste of happiness. Accept that life is a series of evolutions and only a few manage to pass every stage and fell their existence with peacefulness and serenity.

Sometimes fighting your demons takes nothing but holding your demons close and as you tear-up, you hear yourself whispering “I know”. The beauty of life is not only bliss, the beauty of life is everything. The colors of joy, the melodies of pain and sensations of fear. They all intertwine to create a bigger, fresh meaning.

If you are lost, pained or paralyzed, remember that life is BEAUTIFUL. It just takes some time to unfold your eyes and witness the beauty.

artist-Catrin-Welz-Stein-5

Artwork by Catrin Welz-Stein

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Diabolique Chronicles II ..

Mogwai – Take me somewhere nice….

3 YEARS AGO….

Berry…

Morning routine, writing side by side..

One of her freaks calls, he laughs, video record her blushing face, unaware that she blushes from diving onto his eyes, isolated from the words said over the phone.

A friend surprises from another continent for one day – Morning routine plus one, she pretends to enjoy the surprise, the unexpected gesture, just to avoid falling.. Yet, she remains looking at him.

Hard confession.

Hands in pockets, avoiding a slight touch… Conflict..

Long walks, the Jewish temple.. Lost in art.. Lost in each other.

Tough flu… Long sick beautiful night flavored with soup….

Tango OR Kizomba…

Violence, clashes, birthday girl – time stops.. 12 am.. Berry intertwines.. inferno….Magic…

Heliopolis – in the middle of a protest, arguing, disconnected and lost in his eyes. Murdering passion…

Isolation, escape, illusion and one night, intertwine… In the middle of the street after midnight, soul burns with passion, lips longing to devour but she leaves..

Mind burns, soul and heart aches -She does not want to lost this, better secure distance..

Another evening, Berries… Pretends to be distant momentarily and again lips intertwine, souls devour each other… Time stops.. They became one…

But who can overcome fate… ambiguous events, rants… 3 years later, she remains clueless, longing for answers and giving up on fixing…

3 years later, when Angelique turns to Diabolique… Filled her days with muse and colors, until one day, she realizes that dates are marked by his existence and separation – disconnection..

If you only know that its untrue….

Birthday is marked with numbness, questions and craving…

Edward Hopper

                                            Edward Hopper


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