Category Archives: Short Story

Made in Egypt

I wanted to call my piece “born in Egypt” but I found “made in Egypt” more appropriate, eventually in this country we are more of “made” NOT “born”; born suggests living with free will and free will is the mother of sins where I come from.

Usually I end every year with positive thoughts and bright new year resolution, but who am I fooling, we all survive here with a manual of terms and conditions…. and once you decide to oppose the herd, you become a misfit like me.

Let me introduce the external shell, on a professional level I am doing pretty well and thankfully, my lifetime war with family and society ended up with victory. But the price of where I am and who I am was/remains unbearable, for I decided to be my true self and speak out loud in a country that despises freedom, let alone a woman who speaks of freedom.

I am angry.

I am full of rage, I can no longer handle the way this society perceives me. I am tired of explaining and expressing that I might be human after all. I am severely sick from hearing “Rana, regardless of your eccentricity and odd thoughts, you are good – genuine -trustworthy and supportive.” these statements don’t make me feel proud, it suffocates me, it’s like a razor blade piercing each and every ounce of hope that I create from shattered pieces to hold on, survive…. Breathe.

I am dissapointed

Once upon a time there was a revolution, we all had hope, we live in an utopic delusion – we sensed euphoria and we failed to understand that it’s just momentarily.

Our hopes and dreams faded because of everything we failed to understand. Not only an oppressive rooted regime – but our corrupt morals, fragile ethics and HYPOCRISY.

How did we manage to fool ourselves? Change? Freedom? Are you kidding me? How could we expect change when we barley face ourselves with our misfortunes. When we breath hypocrisy, when we betray everyone even ourselves on daily bases?

How could you speak of freedom when you still believe that atheists, agnostics etc. should be sentenced to death? What part of the word “freedom” allows you to harass me just because I am different, how could you speak of human rights when you insult, hurt, mislead dozens of people for nothing other than personal reason rooted in your distort mind.

How am I writing all of this while I hurt many people along the way due to the circus in my mind and the traumas I can’t defeat yet. I might have not hurt anyone “intentionally” but I did by every mean during the war with myself. I am as corrupt…

I am numb

I have lost touch with my feelings, 2015 is such an enlightenment. I got to see the raw ugly image of my society, my people… I wonder why am I surprised? Am I that naive?

However, being numb is pretty useful my friends. I don’t get shocked from daily sexual and verbal harassment anymore, I just live with it – After all, I am an Egyptian pierced and tattooed, I am definitely asking for it, if I was a foreigner then I wouldn’t be asking for this but being Egyptian and different equates and invitation for everyone to occupy my body or at least pierce my brain… What’s the big deal anyway?

Someone told me few days ago that I “escape” from my emotions and I runaway from feelings… Seriously! Why is it hard to absorb my numbness… Live with it, I am not there….

If you live in a country where people resist Police and military abuse and torture but they don’t have the guts to speak of domestic violence and child abuse. What change are you expecting?

If you live in a country where many people would fight sexual harassment but wouldn’t dare to open topics like incest and parental abuse. How can we forge change?

If we live in a country where people still consider parenthood as a sacred institution and domestic violence is god given right, how the fuck will we change anything?

If we are living in a country where men are granted to fool around and cheat while women would be tortured to death in the name of honor. Will we ever witness critical change?

Bottom line

“There can’t be large scale revolution until there’s a revolution on an individual level”

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Sinful Virtue V

She…. Diabolique was enjoying her wild isolation, when suddenly.. He, the man of infinite false pleasures, mingled her dominion. Yet, the wandering soul seized to entice him. A war of domination and isolation it is, he misinterpreted her simplicity for arrogance, her spontaneity for vice. The man of false pleasures failed to see who she truly is.

Unlike him, her wise potency enabled her to see the beauty behind masquerades. For a moment, mystery mesmerized her.

The man of false pleasures exploited his heavenly charm to haunt Diabolique. Unaware that her existence is not to be possessed. In a manner of numbers, he was significantly older, yet unaged. She was young beauty with an ancient soul. In a manner of speaking, she owned wisdom to be educated, for him to learn that life pleasures made him nothing but a prisoner in disguise.

He thought she is subject to be changed, he thought his glamor would enchain her, would forbid her from dancing lonesome in the cold streets of their distorted city. He was too arrogant to realize that she can’t be tamed. She is Diabolique heart and soul.

With a grin, she looked into his deep eyes and whispered “Darling free spirits are not meant to be tamed. I control my existence.”

To be continued……

Unknown Artist

Unknown Artist


Sinful Virtue IV

” I chose to remain tangled.. For a while.. Because it’s me and only me who controls the complex ropes of my unconditional freedom, and no one shall take the lead.. No one. I refuse to compromise my freedom, my beliefs and above all my passion” She said with vigorous tone.. Yet a fragile soul hidden behind the dark shadows of her heart.

” You always cease to find.. or create an excuse to escape. You wear a very professional mask of strength. Don’t be frightened, it’s an enormous act, no one shall see through it, I know how weak you are because I am your male version.” Her best friend answered..

” I am not weak, I choose when to join the brutal game and when to leave, and darling I can leave anytime.. I just did” She replied..

” Diabolique…. You are weak because you vanish as soon as you start getting attached!” He replied..

“Darling I refuse to be attached to people, places, and even countries..” She responded..

“Exactly taking the risk of attachment needs power, enough strength to handle attachment and loss” He replied…

” My male version or my alter ego!”

she answered and suddenly became speechless, she knew that heartache is the only thing she can’t afford, but she also worships freedom and solitude, floating with the wind and dancing with the hurricane are the only realities that satisfies her. She is a free soul, destined to wander in the universe and explore the smallest details.

Once upon a time she gave in to love, she compromised her freedom only once.. She left scars on his soul and he left immortal questions, but as much as the questions torn her apart, and the soul ache that might be relieved with closure, she finds pleasure in the rummage journey; for it satisfies her incomplete existence.

She dances in the rain, tastes lust and sings silent. His poison haunts her, but she is free… She is Diabolique, heart and soul.

To be continued………

Diabolique.

Diabolique.


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